Managing a household is similar to managing a business. You have to plan your schedule, you have to manage the revenue you bring into the arrangement – usually through your own jobs – and of course, you have to be its biggest advocate. While it’s true you may not market the value of your family to other people, and you may not need a financial reward in order to make a long-term investment (such as having children) – if you don’t have good financial health as part of the relationship, you probably won’t have a relationship for long.
Long-term couples tend to have figured out a way to make their finances work, provided neither is in heavy debt or there isn’t an imbalance in the power dynamic. There can be unique arrangements where perhaps the breadwinner manages the finances and the homemaker is given an appropriate allowance – but it’s 2022 and so not everyone will want to go for that type of approach, no matter the gender dynamic.
Regardless – what practical management techniques do financially responsible couples take part in? After all – being financially careful and responsible is not necessarily the same thing as being wealthy, but many less well-off couples manage to make a fantastic life with one another thanks to their efforts.
Let’s consider just what approach this may take, together:
Transparency & Openness
Of course, there are times when you’re not going to tell your partner what you’re buying or what you’re booking. The surprise of booking a spa weekend away is pretty lacking when your duty-bound idealism to share every single financial decision you make gives you away.
But it’s also true that transparency and openness regarding finances, especially as you move into a more serious relationship, is key. For example, if you have quite intensive debt, then yes this can feel embarrassing, but provided you’re working to overcome it then you don’t have to prostrate yourself in front of the person. Sometimes, a bad situation carefully explained and respectfully communicated can make a profound difference to how it’s accepted.
Transparency and openness is also worthwhile when it comes to discussing your financial goals. Discussing what you may use the joint account for, or the personal account, is key. Agreeing to these terms, even by writing them down if you wish for a reminder, can be key.
An Understanding Of Ownership
Couples tend to buy things together and may consider a shared life worth investing in and building, as it only seems to be the case that you need to focus on dividing property and assets after divorce. It’s not as if healthy relationships plan for what they’ll do if they divorce and fight about ownership.
But in some cases, it can be helpful to have clear and consistent guidelines regarding what asset may be yours, and what asset may be your partners. Vehicles are a good example. You may have a hatchback for running around in and committing to errands, while your partner may have a van for their contracting work and day-to-day travel. These can be clearly marked as your singular possessions, even if you might give each other money to invest in maintenance or vehicle inspections.
When you agree in this way, disagreements can be reduced, and you’ll both know entirely where you stand in regard to who is responsible for what item. This makes the process much easier to deal with.
Mutual Goals
Of course, relationships can rarely last if they struggle to agree on where you wish to go in life. Part of building a life together is that you wish to go in a similar direction, or at least your separate directions may fit into one another as neatly as possible.
You may both wish to become homeowners and start a family. Those are pretty clear and consistent goals to take part in. This way, you can begin saving for your deposit and focusing on increasing your potential income so that nicer real estate is available to you.
But it can also be worthwhile to consider the kind of lifestyle you hope to leave and how your financial goals contribute to that. So – do you wish to get on the property ladder by working hard, raising a deposit, and taking out a mutual mortgage on a property? Or might it be that you wish to invest in an old, dishevelled properly in need of renovation, design that appropriately, and then from there flip the house for a potential profit and move onto the next piece of real estate?
As you can see, the form and function of your financial planning should be agreed upon in advance, and the plan should be sustainable. While it might seem strange to consider certain life implements, like having a child as a ‘goal’ and not just something that happens when it feels right – you’ll be able to prepare more readily for such an outcome.
Think Through Your Tax Necessities
Tax needs to be paid, but you do have some flexibility in terms of how you manage your money. So for example, an ISA or equivalent savings account may help you invest up to a certain limit to shield from income tax and even capital gains tax.
Now, it might seem strange to consider the financial implications of bonding your relationship together, too, and getting married just because of the tax benefits is a silly thing to do. But it does play a very minor part in how you plan your financial future, so it’s important to manage that appropriately.
Again, knowing where you stand in regard to future investments can help you agree on a path forward and identify your next steps with more clarity. This way, you can begin charting your own path in life as opposed to being influenced too much by it. That said –
It’s Good To Plan For The Difficulties
Life has its way with us all, which can imply both fortune and misfortune where appropriate. It’s good to plan for the harsh difficulties of life such as what to do in illness and death – the latter is often a good incentive for estate planning and making sure your inheritance is properly managed.
This way, you can agree on an outcome, perhaps for your future children, or maybe decide what to do with your real estate in such an event, or how you might fund certain requirements, like private palliative care.
Taking a direct, forward-focused view on planning for the difficulties won’t increase the likelihood of these difficulties occurring, but they will help you gain a sense of confidence and flexibility should they appear. Many people find it hard to think about these provisions, but it’s a mark of maturity, especially in a relationship of sufficient seriousness, to make sure these discussions are had in good faith and with thorough trust.
Learn To Cut Back With Maturity
Unless you’re tremendously fortunate, at some point in life, you’re going to have to cut back on your finances or spending. This might be due to a temporary job loss, or market forces out of your control. As we’ve seen with the cost of living crisis in many countries such as the United Kingdom, even those who are relatively secure are starting to feel the bite.
As such, mature conversations about cutting back on luxuries can be a good way to move forward and save money. Perhaps this will approximate a small change like taking your lunch to work instead of buying t from a local cafe each day.
Perhaps, in some cases, it may mean a major life change such as selling your property and downsizing to a more affordable option. If your relationship is strong enough to cut back on its expenditure more readily, and when necessary, then you know that the honeymoon period of the good times is properly balanced by the reality of managing the tough times.
Try To Agree On The Smaller Expenses
You’ll no doubt notice that it tends to be the smaller expenses that accrue the daily financial decisions, which is why it’s good to split those down the middle if possible.
Having a joint account you can use for these household costs will allow you to agree on amounts and other investments where appropriate. Sure, you may have small disagreements which is just natural in a relationship – for example, it might be that your partner decided to opt for restorative work on their vehicle at a more expensive garage than you usually utilize, but that doesn’t mean you have to have conflict about it.
As they say – small mature discussions about the minor issues often translates to having that attitude during the larger debates. As a final point of advice, try not to sweat the small stuff and make a worthwhile compromise where it counts – a little leeway from either side often determines the best health in the long run.
With this advice, you’re sure to implement healthy financial practices even for long-term relationships. This is often the sign of a worthwhile union.
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