Coming to terms with emotional and financial separation

by Adam on August 22, 2012

Divorce can be a trying time, even for partners that split amicably.

There are several major details to be sorted in the process of dividing financial assets and deciding where children should go, so it is important to keep an open mind and a willing attitude with your spouse during this time.  The more you can work together, the easier, faster, and less expensive your divorce will be. To get started, here are some discussions that you may want to have with your former partner.

Paying for the divorce

On average, a divorce in the UK will cost anywhere from £100 to £400, depending on how much help that you get from family law solicitors. However, if your divorce is contested or involves particularly complicated interactions between you and your spouse and your solicitors, the potential for a more expensive bill rises. Of course, money is only one factor in coming to an agreement that you can both live with, but it is one of the primary reasons why it is always better to maintain a good relationship with your former spouse.

Who will keep the kids?

If you have children together, this is the most important piece of your divorce settlement. It can take a heavy emotional toll on both parents as well as the children, which is why it is best to try to come up with a custody agreement either between yourselves or through a mediator. Financial matters must also be considered. Does the ex-spouse who assumes primary guardianship of the children receive financial support from the other? If so, how much support? It may be necessary to leave this decision to an impartial court official.

Making a new home for yourself

In many cases, one spouse chooses to leave the home. Or, if the family home is too expensive for one person to maintain, both may consider leaving and downgrading to smaller home. Among these costs, you will have to factor in first and last month’s rent, or, if you are buying a home, a down payment, closing costs, and other real estate fees. It is important to make the move go as smoothly as possible, so it may be a good idea to stay with a family member or friend while you save money for this transition and search for a place where you (and possibly your children) can be comfortable.

 Dividing assets

 Next to deciding who gets guardianship of the children, this divorce aspect has the most potential to cause (even more) discord between spouses. The easiest way to do it is for both parties to come together to provide a written account of all of their financial assets. This includes those that they possess jointly as well as those that are individual. Then, each person can make a copy and turn it in to his or her solicitor to use in divorce proceedings. Many people may try to get away with not listing all of their financial assets for fear of being left with nothing after divorce; this is never a good idea. If you are caught hiding financial holdings intentionally, you may have to pay a hefty price ordered by the court.

Just because you no longer wish to be married to each other doesn’t mean that you can’t be great partners in working through your divorce. Leave it on good terms, and the emotional and financial impact will be far less for both of you.

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